I woke up this morning from a stressful dream—a regular occurrence lately, unfortunately. It’s so annoying, because even when I actually sleep through the night, I do not feel rested at all. And, as much as I hate to admit it, I have been in a bit of a funk lately, so it makes these kinds of mornings even bluer. I hate being in a bluesy funk, because if possible, I’d probably lie in bed all day and night watching movies and Sex & The City or Friends re-runs. Although I’ve long dreamed of a lazy Sunday like that, it’s not quite the same when you’re curled up in the blues. It can be somewhat comforting, but still...not the same.
So, while I once used to withdraw from the world whenever I found myself sulking on the low side, I have since learned to avoid sulking like the plague. Committing yourself to bed rest in these times can be detrimental, because I think it just makes you sadder. Beds can be the most comforting place to lay your head, and they can be the loneliest. Plus, if you sulk in your bed all day, you’ll likely keep yourself from a restful night of sleep. I have found that if it’s not the falling asleep or staying asleep part I’m having trouble with, then I’m having insane dreams—like the one I had last night—that leave me stressed and unsettled when I’m awake, and in turn feeling even less apt to get myself out of bed.
Thus, the routine as of late has been keep busy. Keep as busy as possible—work, study, read, write, workout, and bug all my nearest and dearest and most positive friends to hang out with me as much as possible. Lately I feel like I've been clinging to my best friends like they're my life line, because I've been so afraid to be alone with my emotions. I've also found that taking care of others also makes me feel better, whether it's cheering up one of my own friends, or doing something nice for a stranger. This is how I forge my way back to sunshine and butterflies. I keep busy and try to surround myself with only positive energy. I also talk to my friends a lot to either release any negative energy I'm feeling, or just to talk, because keeping it all in and to yourself will only allow the negative energy to build. And sometimes it helps to hear your thoughts out loud. Plus, if you have really good friends like I do, they'll know how to listen and they'll be straight with you. I really value honesty, so I hate when people just tell you things they think you want to hear.
Moreover, I am not one that is ever short of things to do, but one of my friends mentioned that this funk I’m in may be the result of working from home for the past 7 or 8 months. Despite being busy, being home all day long can really suck the energy out of you. So I guess we can rule out me being a stay at home mom 0:). It’s just that, home is supposed to be where you come home to at the end of the day, kick off your shoes, and relax. But if you’re at home most of the day, well…you’re just at home all day.
So, tired of being in this funk, which has sort of been an on and off again cloud over my head for the last couple weeks or so, I finally texted a good friend of mine this morning, who is always full of wise words. Sometimes they’re witty and funny, and I just like to hear them because they make me laugh. I swear sometimes he’s like a 60-year-old man in a 26 year old’s body. I simply said, “Hey [bud], I need some of your words of wisdom. I’m in a funk.” And then he responded with more than I expected, but the one thing he said that totally and instantly turned my mood around, was “And most important, keep your heart wide open even if it got a little broken…it takes some courage to do that.” Cha-ching. Money words. He also said some other things that made me laugh, but it was this that suddenly made me feel the joyousness of this 90 degree May day weather we’re experiencing here in southern California. The funny part is that this is the exact thing I constantly remind myself of. Sometimes I go to church on Sundays just to help remind myself of this. But this morning, these words sounded way better and more comforting coming from him.
Sometimes, I guess you just have to hear things from someone you love and trust. So suddenly, my desperation to surround myself with my nearest and dearest was no longer a desperate need and fear of being alone. Now I just wanted to see them to send a little love back to them, as they have consistently shown me.
Even the happiest people get blue sometimes. And I think that even when we know we’re surrounded by people who truly love us, we inevitably will go through some change or experience that leaves us feeling a bit lonely. It’s okay, but just remind yourself, or when that doesn’t work get someone you trust, to remind you of the important things.
If you’re feeling blue, or if and whenever you find yourself feeling blue, remember to keep your priorities in order and don’t stop living your life, take some quality alone time, but also surround yourself with friends and family who love you and always bring you positive energy, and keep your heart WIDE open. Also, work out. “Exercise gives you endorphins. Endorphins make you happy. Happy people just don’t shoot their husbands, they just don’t.” (I don’t know how many times I’ve quoted that in a blog, but it never gets old.)
BIG LOVE & HUGS