That is the question. To ensure that we're all on the same page, ghosting is when you intentionally disappear from someone's life--stop answering texts, calls, emails, and any other form of communication. This also includes blocking people on social media platforms. It's not always an easy decision to make, nor one that I ever really want to make, but sometimes you just have to. I learned that there are times, especially as a woman, you just have to look out for yourself. So when is it appropriate to ghost someone or how do you know when ghosting is the best response? I have had this discussion with several friends, male and female, and if you find yourself wondering if you should ghost someone or not, here are a few examples of when is probably an appropriate situation for ghosting. (It's important to note that I am speaking from a female perspective because I am a woman, but the reverse also applies for men in similar situations.)
I'm not really sure why, but last night I had the urge to bake cookies. I am not a baker. At all. When I've tried baking in the past, it usually comes out quite terribly--at least aesthetically--and probably because I may have looked at a recipe once in my life. After that first time, I thought it more fun to go with the flow, go with my gut, and to be surprised by what was going to come out of the oven. Let me just say, this method of baking has yet failed to amuse me.
So, I put all the different ingredients I know you need to bake anything into a mixing bowl and stirred it up until I had some nice gooey dough. About 10 minutes after (I think...I'm not really sure to be honest), I took the batch out of the oven and it turned out that instead of cookies, I made scones. For the first time I actually feared what I may have concocted. Once it cooled a tad so that I could at least touch it, I took a cautious niblet. Okay...not bad. It maybe could've used a bit more sweetener. I never keep sugar in the house, so I always use agave--even to bake.
I grabbed one, put it on a plate for my fiance and spread some jam on it. He was so excited, I told him to hold his horses. I wasn't so sure he should be thanking me just yet. Well, the boy went back for seconds.
I laughed. See, it's not always about following the rules. It's not even necessarily knowing what you're doing. Sometimes all the and the joy is in simply experimenting and discovering what you might be capable of. Of course, this doesn't apply to everything--if you're going to fly a plane you better damn well know how to fly that thing!
Anyways, it was just an inadvertent reminder to live a little in the unknown--you never know what you might encounter.
BIG LOVE & HUGS
As part of marriage preparation many engaged couples who wish to marry in the Catholic Church attend a weekend retreat, where they have the opportunity to think about and discuss things they've not discussed before--perhaps finances, what values and traditions from their respective families they want to bring to their new family, and even discuss issues they had not completely addressed or resolved previously. It's an opportunity to open up like you never have before, and is sort of a foundation building weekend that has you digging deeper into yourselves as individuals, as well as yourselves as a couple, and thus falling deeper in love with your partner. Even when you think you know everything about your partner, you'll learn something new.
The weekend is led by a priest, and married couples who share their experiences of getting through good and bad times, how they learned to communicate with one another, and how they make the decision to love each other everyday, even when it seems difficult. Ideally you'll have a couple who has been married many, many years, and a couple that is relatively still in the earlier part of their sacrament of marriage. These presenting couples don't just give you broad and surface level examples of the topics you cover, but they really dig deep into their personal lives to share their stories with you.
Last weekend, my fiance and I attended such a retreat, and we are most certain this was single handedly one of the most important things we'll do for our marriage. Before we were required to go, we knew it existed and I don't think either of us cared to go. One couple we know did an abridged version that was one day instead of an entire weekend, and we were hoping to have that option. I think for us we thought, we talk about everything and tend to have the same values, so why go away on a retreat just to talk about the same things and affirm what we already know about each other.
After we signed up, I started hearing how helpful it was for some couples. I even Yelped it--though that was largely with the intent to find out how the accommodations were going to be. I was surprised to find out how enthusiastically people responded to their experiences on the retreat. Many said this was the most important three days they've spent together, even for couples that had been together a decade. So, that got me excited and curious.
We attended the retreat at St. Mary's Seminary in Santa Barbara, which is tucked high up and away in the Santa Ynez mountains overlooking Santa Barbara. It also happens to be in the middle of Rattlesnake Canyon, so I was very conscientious of all the critters around us.
When we got there Friday evening at 7.30pm, we signed in, put our water in the refrigerator and our snack contribution on the long table littered with all kinds of goodies. Each couple was asked to bring water or other refreshments, and snacks to share. Already, we knew this was going to be a very communal experience. Not to mention, we were sleeping dorm-style. That was the one thing I dreaded most, because I can't stand communal showers.. They gross me out and I was hoping I had left those days behind me when I moved out of the dorms after my freshman year of university.
We had no idea what was in store for us for the evening...or the weekend for that matter. No agenda was ever provided, only instructions to get to the Seminary, and what to bring. After we were all checked in and settled, the evening finally began. I figured we'd get a quick intro then be off to bed, but no, we dug right into what would turn out to be a most incredible experience.
Father Norm was the priest with us for the weekend. This man is the jolliest, goofiest priest I've ever met, I thought he was Santa. He even had a big belly and beard. I'm so glad to have met him. Only twice have I ever met someone and thought, this is an angel on earth--once was when hanging out with one of my colleagues, and the second time was this weekend meeting Father Norm. Next we met the two presenting couples. One couple has been married 50 years, while the other 25 years; so, in our case, we had two couples who have been married for quite some time.
The way this weekend worked was that there were 16 "chapters" to cover, and we spent an hour on each. Each hour consisted of about 20 minutes of the presenting couples sharing with us their stories related to the topic and Father Norm speaking on the topic as well, 20 minutes of us responding to questions on the topic in a journal provided, and 20 minutes discussing what we wrote with our partners. What was so special about the way this works is that we're asked to write throughout the 20 minutes--just keep writing even if you think you've got no more to say--and we wrote as if we were writing a love letter to our fiance. Also, the men and women alternated leaving the room to go write. This prevented distraction and pressure while writing. When the 20 minutes to write was up, we regrouped with our fiances and traded journals. After reading what each other wrote, we talked about it. There's really something magical about getting to write our deepest feelings and thoughts down on paper to share with our most beloved.
Sometimes you were able to answer all questions, and many times you did not answer the questions in order. What was interesting for my fiance and I, was that we tended to answer the same questions. We addressed them similarly, though with different depth and often answering each other's questions. I won't speak for him, but for me that was always neat to encounter, because I didn't have to ask him, and he answered my thoughts. Things I've tried asking him about before, but never could get a proper answer, or conflicts that were never fully resolved, were addressed and resolved.
Logically, the weekend started with us taking a look at ourselves--what kinds of personalities are we and thoughtfully examining our own upbringings. We are clearly two different types of people and come from two different families and upbringings. We took a quick personality test at the beginning, and one of the presenting husbands happened to be the same type as my fiance: T-type. A T-type is one who tends to be fact/detail-oriented, a perfectionist, careful/conscientious, and diligent. I am largely a P-Type though a bit of a mix of a P and an A. P-Types are sociable, emotionally expressive, talkative, and persuasive. Neither of us were surprised when we saw each other's results. The presenting husband who is a T-Type told us about how his T-Type personality has affected his relationship with his wife, and in what ways he's learned to tone it down some, or alternatively, use it to enhance their marriage. I don't remember his exact words, but as he was talking about how he and his wife deal with conflict based on their personalities, a light went off in my head. He was describing my fiance when he was describing himself. I thought, o my gah, it all makes sense now. Sometimes I feel like my fiance is so hard-headed and closed-minded when it comes to certain arguments, it frustrates me so badly. Some might call it stubbornness, but in fact what he is, is a fact/detail-oriented person, and he supports his arguments with facts/details he believes are correct. So in the past, I'd feel like he would not even hear my side. Often, I'd say, "I don't need you to agree with me, I just need you to understand where I'm coming from." It felt like I was being unheard. There is a certain hard-headedness to this T-type personality, and a need to always be right. Realizing this helped clear a road block in my head and made me laugh. I realized I wasn't being unheard, it was simply that he was insisting on his correctness. After we discussed this, I felt I would now be able to better handle arguments knowing what he is "really saying," and he also promised to be a better listener and not so hard-headed about being right all the time. Just in that first hour, I felt I was already understanding my fiance better.
The first night ended late at 11pm, and we were told we had to be in the chapel at 7.30am for mass. I think everyone's mouths dropped when we heard that. This was the most "boot camp" aspect of the weekend. Breakfast was at 8 though, so I was looking forward to the fastest mass I've ever experienced.
The first topic the next day was about communication. I was completely caught off-guard when my eyes started to water a bit in our discussion after we read what we wrote to each other. It wasn't necessarily the words he wrote that moved me, but what he said when he elaborated in our discussion. He opened up in a way that he does not normally. I still had to dig it out of him a bit, but it was not such a battle as it sometimes can be. I have no doubt that this weekend showed us both how to better communicate with each other, and while the presenting couples examples were certainly helpful and comforting, it was really us digging deep into ourselves and sharing ourselves completely with the other that got us there. They didn't give us any secret tools or formulas. It goes back to us knowing ourselves, knowing the other person, and uniting ourselves like pieces of a puzzle. Of course, it certainly helped that we were in a setting where we were supposed to be talking about everything we were talking about, and communication was not only welcomed, but an integral part of the weekend.
One of my favourite parts was when we talked about "a Life-Giving Marriage." There are those who are life-draining, and I call them energy vampires; then there are those who are life-giving. Being a life-giving person can be as simple as doing a simple chore that you know will help your partner out and the s/he will appreciate it. There was a day once when he stayed home while I went to work, and when I came home, the entire apartment was tidy and clean. I was in such joyful shock I practically jumped into his arms. So, over the weekend we were asked to think of one thing we would like to ask our partner to do in any given week. He wrote, "I would like you to REALLY watch the Rugby World Cup coming up." DONE. That made me smile and grateful he truly wanted to include me in this beloved activity of his. I've always tried to be interested in his interests, but I never realized it meant something to him for me to actually take interest. I on the other hand, took my chances and asked him a couple things. I asked him to cook once in a given week, and draw on my back...everyday of the week 0:). The reason being life-giving is so important is because it shows generosity, support, sensitivity, and selflessness. Those things add up to a fuller life. On top of that, it's the little ways we're able to show our loved ones we love them. The husband of the older couple joked, "Unfortunately for me, what makes her feel loved is when I do the dishes."
Overall, this weekend was so significant, because it taught us that love is a daily decision, not just a feeling. Our modern society may try to tell us differently, but the illusion is not that marriages are forever; the illusion is that marriage is easy. Our two presenting couples told us about troubles they had with miscarriages, making difficult decisions related to giving up on a lifelong dream for the betterment of the family, and even dealing with a child that came out to them as a lesbian. I'm so grateful to these presenting couples for the deep honesty they shared with us over the weekend. They're examples of the love our faith teaches us, and I believe even the non-Catholics got a lot out of the weekend, because it all just comes down to love. That's all.
I learned things this weekend I never even thought to ask. For example, my fiance and I were both baptized Catholic as babies, but neither of us had very deep religious upbringings. I was definitely the more "practicing" Catholic of the two of us, and my faith is very important to me. He is Catholic and he believes, and that was always good enough for me. He'd go to Church with me, only because he knew it meant a lot to me. What I never expected was that my faith would influence his faith. I never pushed it on him, nor did I ever think about it. However, I learned for the first time this weekend that his faith has grown because of me, and I never knew how much that could mean to me until now. To be united in our faith and in our love is a strength like no other.
We covered other topics like financial fidelity, forgiveness, how will we raise our family. Something I bet most couples don't talk about is, what if we can't get pregnant? An interesting one was thinking of the traditions and values each of us have, and then which we wanted to bring into our new family, and which we wanted to leave out. There was a lot of working together in decision making. My fiance and I have known that we have communication skills that we need to work on, but I don't think we ever really knew how that would happen. We figured it would just happen with time....and a LOT of patience. Now I'm confident it will happen with time, because all weekend we communicated as we need to with each other and really listened to each other.
Towards the end of the weekend, we learned the difference between "engagement" and "betrothal." A betrothal is a promise, it's a pledge that "I will be there for you." It doesn't end like an engagement does. We were given 30 minutes to write a betrothal to one another. I wrote and I wrote trying to pour everything in my heart out, ignoring how poorly written it was. This time, instead of trading journals, we each read what we wrote to the other. As he read his betrothal to me, my eyes became a bit misty. When I read mine to him love flooded out of my eyes in tears like a sudden southern summer storm. I could hardly look at him as they kept coming, because I was afraid they wouldn't stop and I wouldn't be able to read what I wrote.
I had no idea the true impact this weekend would have on me and us, and now I wish that every engaged couple was required to go on this retreat--perhaps there'd be less divorce and discord in the world. Heck, even couples who aren't engaged should do this. In fact, there was one couple there that was not yet engaged.
I started the weekend taking notice of all the mushy gushy couples around us, thinking this all felt a bit silly. I left the weekend feeling like there's hope in the world, because these couples will remember to choose love everyday, even when they don't feel like it. I even felt bonded with some of them, which is such a nice feeling. I feel connected to them, even if it's just remembering them in my prayers.
Something really key to this weekend was how raw and real it was. There was nothing idealistic to fill our romantics hopes and wishes about love and marriage. There was nothing preachy about it--though I think Catholics in general are not a preach kind. We're taught to just live as an example of Love. Something Father Norm said really brought it all down to earth, and made me feel grounded even when I felt like I was flying, because I was filled with so much love. Never have I heard anyone say that there are days you do not want to love your spouse, but because we've made this commitment and betrothal, we choose to love our spouse everyday. To hear Father Norm say that was like, "Wow." Some of us, including myself, grow up believing in fairytales and live for good love stories--even when we become jaded, we want to believe that love exists. What no one tells us is that even in the greatest love stories, there are days when the tank feels empty. This one statement suddenly made love and marriage a real, tangible, human experience--not a fairytale that takes work, not centuries old tradition, or an old-fashioned notion that a few of us still believe in.
More importantly, WE left this weekend with a renewed and affirmed confidence that we are truly a united team that has chosen and pledged to one another to decide on love every single day for eternity, that our union is a blessing from God, and that through God's love, we love, and may that love spread throughout the world. It has only been a week since the retreat, but we can already see and feel how it has helped us become a stronger couple. At the end of our prayer service Saturday evening, they asked us to face each other and hold each other's hands as Father Norm said a prayer. Something he said towards the end of his prayer rang loud and clear with us. He said, "Your hands are the hope for humanity, because your hands can change the world." We hope that our hands, as a team, will in fact change the world.
Thank you, Catholic Engaged Encounter, for a most enlightening weekend.
BIG LOVE & HUGS,
Sometimes in life, you meet people with whom you just know you’re going to walk a long, beautiful path. In those moments it feels like, not divine intervention, but divine…collection—like we’ve all collected to the same place to touch each other’s lives.
I had one of those moments this morning as I was having breakfast with some producers I am working with, over pancakes at Cracker Barrel. This is the second time I’ve realized a blessing in the moment as I was experiencing it, whilst in a Cracker Barrel. God bless pancakes!
In all seriousness though, from our many conversations over the phone and email, I knew that this group of people was a people I wanted to know. They’re storytellers, they’re compassionate and passionate humanitarians, and kindred spirits no doubt.
We gathered to discuss work, but work immediately became the beginning of a personal journey with like-minded friends. As we were getting to know each other, we found that we have crossed paths several times and that our passions are very likely to collide and explode into a most magnificent starburst.
The entertainment industry has a tendency to turn many daring participants into jaded souls—business is business, you hustle to get what you want, and you want to hustle to your next stop. You brush hands with strangers and you build up an armor of distrust. I have been extremely blessed to meet several people along the way, who have become dear friends, and who remind me that there’s a greater reason we’re here. Sometimes in this industry, you start to feel like you’re being sucked into this cold money fueled blender of greed and superficiality. Then, an angel comes along to show us that there are some of us that still care about the storytelling and the human connection.
This industry is all about crossing paths and building journeys—your own, as well as with others—much like the beauty that is life. I truly believe everything happens for a reason, and everyone comes into our lives for a reason. Sometimes I imagine God is up there in the clouds with a brush in his hand, painting his canvas, but that he also hands us our own brush to help fill out the details. What we do with what He places in our paths is up to us, but there’s always a reason. Do we see a dandelion or a weed? Do we make a wish on it, do we step on it, or do we ignore it?
When God places good people in my life, I feel like I’ve just discovered a long lost brother or sister, and it’s a reassuring feeling that fills my heart with hope, faith, love, and much joy.
BIG LOVE & HUGS
My mom is your typical, gossiping, always has something to say kind of gal. Recently, over dinner, she was talking about the various girlfriends of cousins and friends and whatnot. She never has much to say about boyfriends, but about girlfriends she always does. She notices how helpful around the house they are, whether they cook or not, how well they put themselves together, etc. The more of those they can do, the better.
I noticed, though not for the first time, that she always expects me to set the table, do the dishes, and serve everyone, but never my brother. At the most, she might ask my brother to pour the wine. As I was doing the dishes after dinner, my brother noticed I was frustrated. He said, it’s because I’m the only one who can be a “good wife.” I laughed. I said, “It’s the 21st Century! You can be a good husband!” And his response…”Yeah, but not a good wife.” He was joking, but also telling the blatant truth.
I’ve always felt extremely blessed about my upbringing. My parents are immigrants, and I come from a very global family--we are literally scattered across the globe. In raising my brother and me, they kept many of their traditional values, and also encouraged us to explore all opportunities that life offers us in order to make the most of our lives. I wasn’t raised to become someone’s wife, I was raised to become my own woman—self-sufficient and self-dependent. So, it ends up being somewhat of an oxymoron doesn’t it? My mother raised me to never need to depend on a man, but she also always expected me to be able to someday be someone's “good wife.” She still has these old world, sexist views that serve as her gauge to judge a woman. Can I cook? Can I clean? Can I put myself together well? Can I take care of my man? Can I take care of my family? And how well?
I don’t have an issue with cooking and cleaning, and taking care of my man and my family, and Lord knows I love dressing up. In fact, I enjoy nurturing my family, and providing a comfortable home, and I find it very rewarding when I can look around and see happy faces on those I love most. My issue with my mother’s notions, is that I am expected to carry out these “duties,” because I am a woman.
When I was in grade school, about 7 or 8 years of age, I remember asking her, “if Andrew (my younger brother) was older, would she ask him to do the dishes, too, or is it because I’m a girl?” I don’t remember her exact response now, but my point is that based on this question, it is clear I was aware of the gender inequality even then.
I don’t think this makes her a bad mother or woman though. This is how she was raised. This is how she has lived her life. She goes to work in the morning, and then she comes home to work in the evening. This is the way it is for many women. This is why it has been calculated that women do 3/4 of the work in the world.
But if we want to fight gender inequality, we must start in our homes. As nurturers, it is natural for women to want to care for our families in every way we can; but it is not our job to do so. That is not what makes us “good wives” or good women.
I don’t have children yet, but when I do, I hope to teach them, boys and girls alike, that what’s most important is to be excellent to each other, that we should all always try to be good people, and that we’re a team.
In fairness to my mom though, my dad has always worked long hours and was essentially the “bread winner” in the family. And my mom always just wanted to be a good teammate, so she brought in what she could at her day job, then tried to make home as comfortable as possible for the rest of us. It was her way of balancing out the work level between my father and her. And it was probably also her OCD.
Hope everyone is having a wonderful holiday season! Be excellent to each other ;)
BIG LOVE & HUGS
I've heard mixed opinions about The Mindy Project, but I absolutely love the show and I love Mindy. If she is even half the character she is on her show, I want her to be one of my best friends. I started re-watching season 2 just as a sort of pick me up. I'm not blue right now, but I think with the UCSB tragedy hitting so close to home for me, it's something better than seeing that sick boy's face and name all over the media still. Seriously people, stop printing his name, stop sharing his video, and posting his picture. The more you do that, the more he's now looking up at us and laughing that creepy laugh we've all heard by now, every time you do.
So yes, I turned to Mindy for comfort. She is just such an honest, witty, and confident character--and that's what makes her absolutely BEAUTIFUL. They say beauty lies within the eye of the beholder--or rather, Shakespeare said that--but so do flaws. So own your beauty and own your "flaws." Don't let anyone make you feel less than worthy.
It's incredibly important for us to speak to ourselves in a positive manner, but sometimes we still need a reminder from our friends, or even people we don't know. So, thanks, Mindy, for reminding me of that. You be AWESOME.
BIG LOVE & HUGS
I woke up this morning from a stressful dream—a regular occurrence lately, unfortunately. It’s so annoying, because even when I actually sleep through the night, I do not feel rested at all. And, as much as I hate to admit it, I have been in a bit of a funk lately, so it makes these kinds of mornings even bluer. I hate being in a bluesy funk, because if possible, I’d probably lie in bed all day and night watching movies and Sex & The City or Friends re-runs. Although I’ve long dreamed of a lazy Sunday like that, it’s not quite the same when you’re curled up in the blues. It can be somewhat comforting, but still...not the same.
So, while I once used to withdraw from the world whenever I found myself sulking on the low side, I have since learned to avoid sulking like the plague. Committing yourself to bed rest in these times can be detrimental, because I think it just makes you sadder. Beds can be the most comforting place to lay your head, and they can be the loneliest. Plus, if you sulk in your bed all day, you’ll likely keep yourself from a restful night of sleep. I have found that if it’s not the falling asleep or staying asleep part I’m having trouble with, then I’m having insane dreams—like the one I had last night—that leave me stressed and unsettled when I’m awake, and in turn feeling even less apt to get myself out of bed.
Thus, the routine as of late has been keep busy. Keep as busy as possible—work, study, read, write, workout, and bug all my nearest and dearest and most positive friends to hang out with me as much as possible. Lately I feel like I've been clinging to my best friends like they're my life line, because I've been so afraid to be alone with my emotions. I've also found that taking care of others also makes me feel better, whether it's cheering up one of my own friends, or doing something nice for a stranger. This is how I forge my way back to sunshine and butterflies. I keep busy and try to surround myself with only positive energy. I also talk to my friends a lot to either release any negative energy I'm feeling, or just to talk, because keeping it all in and to yourself will only allow the negative energy to build. And sometimes it helps to hear your thoughts out loud. Plus, if you have really good friends like I do, they'll know how to listen and they'll be straight with you. I really value honesty, so I hate when people just tell you things they think you want to hear.
Moreover, I am not one that is ever short of things to do, but one of my friends mentioned that this funk I’m in may be the result of working from home for the past 7 or 8 months. Despite being busy, being home all day long can really suck the energy out of you. So I guess we can rule out me being a stay at home mom 0:). It’s just that, home is supposed to be where you come home to at the end of the day, kick off your shoes, and relax. But if you’re at home most of the day, well…you’re just at home all day.
So, tired of being in this funk, which has sort of been an on and off again cloud over my head for the last couple weeks or so, I finally texted a good friend of mine this morning, who is always full of wise words. Sometimes they’re witty and funny, and I just like to hear them because they make me laugh. I swear sometimes he’s like a 60-year-old man in a 26 year old’s body. I simply said, “Hey [bud], I need some of your words of wisdom. I’m in a funk.” And then he responded with more than I expected, but the one thing he said that totally and instantly turned my mood around, was “And most important, keep your heart wide open even if it got a little broken…it takes some courage to do that.” Cha-ching. Money words. He also said some other things that made me laugh, but it was this that suddenly made me feel the joyousness of this 90 degree May day weather we’re experiencing here in southern California. The funny part is that this is the exact thing I constantly remind myself of. Sometimes I go to church on Sundays just to help remind myself of this. But this morning, these words sounded way better and more comforting coming from him.
Sometimes, I guess you just have to hear things from someone you love and trust. So suddenly, my desperation to surround myself with my nearest and dearest was no longer a desperate need and fear of being alone. Now I just wanted to see them to send a little love back to them, as they have consistently shown me.
Even the happiest people get blue sometimes. And I think that even when we know we’re surrounded by people who truly love us, we inevitably will go through some change or experience that leaves us feeling a bit lonely. It’s okay, but just remind yourself, or when that doesn’t work get someone you trust, to remind you of the important things.
If you’re feeling blue, or if and whenever you find yourself feeling blue, remember to keep your priorities in order and don’t stop living your life, take some quality alone time, but also surround yourself with friends and family who love you and always bring you positive energy, and keep your heart WIDE open. Also, work out. “Exercise gives you endorphins. Endorphins make you happy. Happy people just don’t shoot their husbands, they just don’t.” (I don’t know how many times I’ve quoted that in a blog, but it never gets old.)
BIG LOVE & HUGS
In his Easter sermon, the father analogized baptism and our faith to swimming. He talked about how much he loves swimming, but there was a time in his life when he was not so keen on jumping into the pool. When he was five or six he knew he needed to learn how to swim if he was going to be allowed into the neighbor’s backyard and pool. Some of the older neighborhood kids said they would teach him, but when it came time to learn, he was skeptical of some of their intentions and just knew that everything was not going to be okay as they suggested. So then his mother signed him up for swim school, and again, he was sure something horrible was going to happen if he jumped into the pool. Finally, after some careful convincing by a couple of the trainers there, he leaped into the pool, into their arms.
He said he loves swimming, because it makes him feel renewed and refreshed. Swimming is wonderful even with the challenges that may come at times. He went on to say that sometimes we just have to leap into the water and trust the good that is in it.
When he said that, I thought how true that is of love. Life and heartache teach us the challenges of love; but we shouldn’t let those challenges prevent us from leaping back into the water. If we allowed that, then we would miss out on all the good that love brings us. Even when our loved ones hurt us, it would be easy to allow our hearts to harden, but true strength comes in allowing love to live in our hearts even when it has been hurt.
This Easter Sunday, I remind you all to live in love, and act in love.
BIG LOVE & HUGS
Holy crap. My friend convinced me to go to her Zumba class with her, and it was AWESOME. It's been a while since I've danced, and I forgot how much I love it. The entire class is basically just various routines to different songs. It was funny--at the end of class, the instructor said to me, "I can tell you used to dance, because you did great, and you were smiling the whole time. I could tell you were totally in your element." And then I beamed, and I thought, "Yes, I totally was in my element. I was HAPPY."
Dancing is a natural high. Dancing--at least for girls--is sensual, it's sexy, it's fun, it's spiritual, it's confidence, and it's endorphins…and "endorphins make you happy, and happy people just don't shoot their husbands." More importantly, it's something you do for yourself.
I remember in one of my belly dancing classes, the instructor gave a little history on belly dancing. This was a particular kind, and I forget what kind, so it may or may not apply to all belly dancing. Anyways…she said that the women who used to do this belly dance did so only with each other (no men), because it was something they did for themselves, something spiritual and sensual that they did for themselves. I thought that was such an important element to share, because when you dance you're in control of your body and the sensuality you exhume from dance, every emotion you exhume from dance, is personal. For me, dance is everything I've already said. And it's personal. It brings me back to me.
As I was in class, like the instructor said, I was totally in my element. I was in my zone--my happy zone, and suddenly all the stress that had built up this week was melting away. It was being danced away. With every step, every kick, every sway of my hip, and turn, my blues just blew away.
And now I understand the Zumba craze. People used to tell me that Zumba was Turbo Fire's competitor, and since I did Turbo Fire I didn't do Zumba. But I'm going to have to say that that's a whole lot of Bob Snottsy. They are not the same at all.
In any case, I think everyone should do a lot more dancing in their lives. Maybe we'd all be a little happier :)
BIG LOVE & HUGS