How to Deal with Energy Vampires

There's a notion that successful people hang out with other successful people.  I believe that applies to happy people, too.  Of course, that doesn't mean we can't ever be sad.  It's just that sometimes in life we come across people who may be perfectly lovely people, but they leave you feeling absolutely drained after each encounter.  We call these people energy vampires, because they suck the living joy out of you.  ​

I once had a friend, who was a great friend, but it got to the point where I found myself feeling exhausted after each time we'd hang out, and I just couldn't hide the pain I was in anymore.  She is someone who likes to be the center of attention, and she knows it.  If it's not about her, she'll make it about her.  I think most of us who knew this about her, recognized it and accepted it; but it for some reason really started to wear me out.  The last couple times I hung out with her, I knew I couldn't do it anymore.  I needed at least a break.  I was feeling like every time we got together, she'd bring a lot of negative energy with her and it weighed me down.

It was probably evident in my face or tone that I couldn't be there for her anymore--or at least not for a while.  I felt terrible about that, but I just couldn't be the friend I wanted to be for her.  What I've come to learn is that we have one life to be our best selves and if someone is weighing us down, there is no wrong in cutting that weight loose.  Sometimes it's about balancing the weight.  Sometimes we know that we can take these people in doses, and we accept them for who they are, so we set boundaries.  Other times, we accept them for who they are, but know that if we can't be our best selves with that person, then it's probably time to part ways.

Energy vampires can be friends, colleagues, and even family.  Life should be about pushing each other to the top and holding each other up, but you cannot be there for everyone and you cannot be everyone's friend.  Growing up, I had a need to be everyone's friend and to be liked by everyone.  That's a stressful and impossible desire to have.  You're never going to please everyone, you're bound to take missteps, and you're bound to disappoint people from time to time.  What matters is that you do what you need to do for your well-being, because if you can't be the best you, how can you be there for others?  With my friend, I knew that if I didn't take a break from her, I'd be miserable company for her and probably a terrible friend to her.  I'm sure I was already miserable company for her, because I felt miserable!

So, beware of the energy vampires in your life and know that you're not a terrible human being if you need to limit certain people in your life.  Again, sometimes it's about setting boundaries and taking them in doses.  Other times, it means cutting them off.  

BIG LOVE & HUGS

Love,

​Justine