How to Fake It 'Til You Make It Confidence

I feel very flattered when people tell me I look confident and natural when I’m doing any sort of public speaking, because often times I feel the exact opposite. However, I learned a few tricks when I was younger and they’ve certainly helped me out in many a situation, so hopefully they’ll help you, too.

 
​Confidence is key to getting ahead in life and making the most of what you want out of life. Without confidence we lack motivation to move. Confidence is also an energy we put out, and I 100% believe that what we put out we get in return. So, good vibes only here.

​As an inherently shy person, I had to learn how to fake some of my confidence at an early age. In fact, one of the reasons I asked my parents if I could take singing lessons, was because I was tired of being shy. Even at ten or eleven years old, I knew that my shyness was holding me back from many things I dreamed of and wanted to do. So here is how you fake it 'til you make it confidence.

​1) Train and Prepare. Whether you’re preparing a talk or an interview, it’s important to practice and be prepared. I don’t always like to over prepare because I don’t want to sound rehearsed, but it’s always helpful to jot down the main points you’d like to make so that your brain can remember the highlights. Some people will prefer to rehearse and rehearse until they’ve memorized exactly how they will say what they want to say. It’s personal preference. Doing at least the bare minimum of preparation already gives you an extra boost of confidence.

2) Visualize It. See and know what you want. Visualize the steps you need to take and go for it. I'll never forget my first round-off back handspring. I had done my training, knew the steps, and my coach said to me, "See yourself doing it, and do it." I did it and I nailed it. This technique has helped me out a lot in life. As a person who relies a lot on gut feeling, if I can't visualize it then something isn't right or ready. So visualize yourself as your most confident, kick-ass self, and the go out there and be your most confident, and kick-ass self.

3) Own it. Particularly when it comes to giving speeches and talks, I still get nervous, but I turn to my acting skills and own what I'm saying. When I was in law school, a lot of times tests were not about how accurate you were, but how good and how believable your argument was. It's the same with public speaking. I use my acting skills to become the person I envision myself to be when I'm giving a speech or doing any kind of public speaking. I use my diaphragm, project my voice, enunciate, take pauses where appropriate, hold my head up, stand up straight. All that being said, remember to be true to yourself. Nothing reads louder and clearer than the lack of authenticity.

4) Know your audience. The better you know and can anticipate what matters to your audience, the better you can speak to that person(s), whether that's an audience at a conference, a meeting, an interview, or whoever/whatever it is you need to bring your A-game to. Even as you’re speaking, try to read your audience so that you can know how to better engage them.

5) Dress confidently. This will mean something different to each of us. Personally, I always try to find the right balance between stylish and comfortable. What makes you feel fierce and confident? It's also important to know your audience. If everyone is in jeans, you probably don't want to be in a suit and tie.

6) Mantras. This may sound silly and you may feel silly doing it, because trust me I feel so weird giving myself pep talks in the mirror and repeating mantras that put me in a fierce and confident head space, but they totally work. Try it.

7) Keep Learning. Sometimes, the more we learn, the more we realize how much we don't know; but knowledge is power. The more interested you are, the more interesting you are. Of course, don't be afraid to admit you don't know something, when you don't.

I hope these tips help you. Have any other tricks to help with confidence? Share them in the comments! I’d love to hear them!  Like what you read?  Remember to share this post with your friends!

BIG LOVE & HUGS

Love,

Justine