Life Lessons From Cornelius Matthews

There's always a big, special place in my heart for that dorky, little, brillo-headed boy named Cory <3.

1.     Love does not require you to be perfect, but it does require you to forgive.

2.     Mom, Listen, I haven't been together with Topanga for twenty-two years, but we *have* been together for sixteen. 'Kay, that's a lot longer than most couples have been together. I mean, when we were born, you told me that we used to take walks in our strollers together in the park. When we were two, we were best friends, I mean, I, I knew everything about this girl. I knew her favorite color. I knew her favorite food. Then we became six, you know, and Eric made fun of me because it wasn't cool to have a best friend that was a girl or even know a girl, so for the next seven years I threw dirt at her. I like to call those "the lost years". Then when I was thirteen, Mom, she put me up against my locker and she kissed me. I mean, she gave me my first kiss. She taught me how to dance. She was always talking about these crazy things and I never understood a word she said. All I understood was that she was the girl I sat up every night thinking about, and when I'm with her I feel happy to be alive. Like I can do anything. Even talk to you like this. So that's, that's what I feel is love, Mom... When I'm better because she's here... and now she won't be. So we're finished.

3.     And when you're not a little boy anymore, when the world has taught you how to be a man... Then you'll still make mistakes. But your family, and all those good friends you've made along the way, will help you. And even though you'll think the world has gone out of it's way to teach you all the tough lessons, you'll realize that it's the same world that's given you your family and those friends, you you'll come to believe that no matter what happens, somehow the world will protect you, too. "Boy Meets World." Now I get it.

4.     In some countries me calling your hair greasy would be considered a compliment. For instance... Greece.

5.     Well, the man's got the sperm and the woman's got the egg. Now, once a month an egg slides down the "Phillippine tube" towards the uterus. The first sperm to reach the egg wins. It gets a medal, it's born, ya name 'em "Cory", ya push 'em out the door, and nothing makes sense for the rest of his life.

6.     “We're all a little weird and when we find those people whose weirdness is compatible we join up with them and fall into a mutually satisfying weirdness and call them our best friends.”

7.     Sometimes... things change.

8.     There's a dark side to a bake sale too, isn't there? Fat. Cholesterol. What about that?

9.     Math: two plus two is always four. Science: the Earth always goes around the sun. History: Lincoln always gets shot in the head.

10. Fine, keep your goods. Like we need your stinkin' British goods. We're American, we're independent. We'll get our goods from Japan!

11. The key is to be direct and vague, yet obvious and subtle.

12. Gutenburg invented the printing press in 1445 and began the spread of ideas and the written word throughout the world. Please don't tell anyone I know that.

13. I'm not gonna kill you, Shawn. It takes too much time to break in a new best friend.

14. Beans are not a wedding can!... Because beans do not say eternal love and happiness!

15. You know what else they got in Europe aside from cafés, Shawn? They got men. Men named... Paolo. Enrique! Milosh! And they sit there prowling around in their dirty Ferraris looking for that fresh American meat.

16. I believe in love like I believe in God: you can't touch it, you can't see it, but you can feel its wrath.


You're welcome.

BIG LOVE & HUGS

Love,

Justine