I’ve come to learn the significance of having a partner who is always on your side. A partner who is always on your side doesn’t tell you you’re always right, but he or she acts in such a way that lets you know you’re not alone, and you’ll never be alone, because you’ll always have that person standing next to you. Having someone always on your side is the glue to trust, because you know that no matter what this person is not going to quit on you, and that this person is there to make you always strive to be a better person.
It’s the same in sports, isn’t it? Players need to trust their teammates and their coach. They need to be able to trust that their teammate is going to give their all. They need to be able to trust that their teammate is going to push them to be better players. And they need to be able to trust that their teammate is going to have their back in a play or a shortcoming. Without that trust, you can’t expect someone to give their all to their teams or their partners.
I have one ex who always made it a point to NOT be on my side, even when it came down to sports. If my team was playing a game, and he had no affiliations to any team in the sport, he would still root against me. At first, I didn’t think too much of it—I thought it was all in good fun. Then it got real old, real fast, especially when it went beyond petty sports games and applied to almost anything I said or did. Needless to say, it got to be very lonely in that relationship. If he ever did support a decision I made, it was more out of the idea that “it’s your life, you can do what you want,” rather than, actually being supportive. As such, there was no trust in our relationship. I couldn’t trust him to be my partner, be my teammate.
My man now, not only roots for my teams when we’re not playing each other, but he’ll watch my games for me when I’m not able to and he is. If I get into an argument with my mom, he never gets involved nor does he tell me I’m right and my mom was wrong—he is just there to hug me and let me know it’s okay. I mean, sometimes in certain situations he’ll tell me I’m right, but other times he’ll tell me I’m just being ridiculous. And he usually tells me one or the other only when I ask him. Otherwise, like I said, he is just there for me. He is my partner in life, my teammate, my man. He’s not there to judge me, he’s just there to take on life with me.
It’s funny. We’re always told that trust is one of the most important things you need in a relationship, no matter what kind of relationship you have with someone—parent-child, friends, lovers, coach-player. However, it’s not until someone in your life becomes an example of that kind of trust do you really understand what that means. I finally know what it’s like to have someone totally on my side, playing alongside me, and it just makes me feel more grounded and confident in each step that I take.
In life, there are few people you will be able to 100% trust with your life. There will always be people who “want the best for you,” and though it may be true, not many of those people, if any, will know you well enough to really know what is best for you. So when you find someone who is 100% on your team and 100% worthy of your trust, be worthy of that person’s trust, too. And always remember to be excellent to each other.
BIG LOVE & HUGS