The Secret to Successful Networking is Stop Networking

The secret to successful networking is stop networking.  I've always hated the general essence of networking.  It feels so superficial.  Instead, go make friends and find yourself some really trustworthy mentors.  "Networking" is like dating and making friends, so treat it like that.  Don't go fishing for business cards.  Not everyone is going to become your best friend, but remember you're building relationships with people, not business cards.  I've met people who come across like it's a game for them to see how many business cards they can collect by the end of the night, and by the end of the night they know nothing about the names on those cards.  Life is too short to be building a bunch of superficial, meaningless relationships.  Make 'em count! ​

At first I felt a little silly writing a post about networking tips, when I feel I've barely begun my career, but someone made a good point to me and asked me to write this, so I thought, why not? I have been very blessed in my still green career to have established incredible relationships and friendships with colleagues and mentors, and quite a broad network, and I'm always happy to share my story and opinion when asked ;).

The way I've built my network is by being active in organizations within and without my industry, attending all kinds of events, and having lots of lunches.  Sometimes I'll meet someone, and h/she will think of someone else I should meet, and that person will think of someone else I should meet.  As people get to know me and my interests, I'll get random phone calls and introductions to other folks with similar interests and passions.  Networking is really just about being active in life, and putting your best self out there.

So, here are a few of my tips to being a master networker:

1. Be yourself--I always think it's weird when people put on this air of professionalism that makes them come off stiff and robot-like.  Being professional is important, but don't lose your personality while you're at it.  I'm a strong believer in authenticity.  I like my personality like I like my music--honest.  I want to believe you believe what you're singing.
2. Be professional--If you read my last post, you may have gotten an inkling of how I feel about how one carries oneself in a professional arena.  Carry yourself with respect and mind your posture.  Speak proper English (or the language you should be speaking in). What you wear matters, too.  Depending on your industry and who you're meeting with may require different outfits.  When I'm meeting with the CEO of a company, I'll put on a classier dress and mind the length.  When I'm meeting with a producer I may wear something edgier, and even jeans.  Producers don't want to meet me in a suit or business attire.  Thankfully, my job allows for that kind of diversity.  Again, I'm all about personality, so I hate boring suits.  My dad has all these rules about when you can wear printed shirts vs. plain shirts, and that may be an industry thing and/or an old school thing, so I'd just say mind your industry and don't forget your personality.  Your clothes tell a lot about you, so put some extra thought into it, and just keep in mind who you're meeting with when getting dressed.
3. Become a restaurant connoisseur--Go out to lunch.  A LOT. Like dating and building friendships, one of the best ways to bond is over a meal.  There is no one off limits for lunch. In other countries this is mostly unheard of, but this is America so let's eat!  I've had lunch with students, CEOs, and everyone in between, and I've had great experiences with all.  The worst that can happen is someone may say no.  And they may not even say no, they may reschedule a bunch or cancel on you, or they'll invite you for an in office meeting instead.  Take whatever you can, and don't take anything personally, just keep moving forward.  Persistence doesn't hurt either.  If you're worried someone you want to have lunch with is a high level executive and you are not, don't worry.  Show them why you're worth it.  You have value. Know what that value is, wear it, and share it.
4. Don't be afraid to get personal--I keep talking about personality, and I think one of the ways you really get to know people, learn how to communicate with them, how to do business with them is to get a little personal.  When someone says to you, "Tell me about yourself," don't just tell them where you went to school and what you do for a living.  Talk about your passions, what you enjoy doing, some thing fun you recently did,non top of the basics. On the flip side, get to know the other person's interests.  Perhaps, because I've got a bit of Nashville in me, I like to ask people about their families, because people love gushing about their kids and their spouses.  You never know how you might click and you could wind up at Disneyland or a concert together--I speak from experience here.  As long as you don't turn your meetings into therapy sessions--that's what your real friends are for--there is a way to get personal without being unprofessional.
5. Keep in touch--Always send a thank you note after your initial lunch.  When I was in law school, I wrote handwritten notes to everyone I had lunch with.  While I'm not sending as many handwritten notes to folks these days, I always follow up with thank you in an email.  Remember Tip #4?  This is where that comes in handy.  When you know a little more about a person, you may come across something, an article maybe, that makes you think of a particular person.  That's always a good way to say, "Hey, I'm thinking of you and I remember that you love fishing."  People like when you think of them.  It's nice to be thought of.  There's someone I used to work with whom every time college football season starts, I send him a note that says ROLL TIDE, because he's an Alabama boy. It's my way of saying hi.  Stay on people's mind, but again, keep it genuine.
6. Remember life is too short--it's not often I meet someone I really do not like, but every now and then there's just someone that rubs me the wrong way, or I feel like I have to force myself to have a conversation with them.  Life is too short for that nonsense.  Develop, nourish, and cherish the relationships you have and value, because as wide as you build your network, you'll find that, as in life,  there are only a few you can wholly trust and rely on.  Who really has your back?

Hopefully you find these tips helpful.  Basically, don't be afraid to put yourself out there and be yourself. 

BIG LOVE & HUGS

Love,

Justine