A friend of mine told me that she’s decided to entrust her love life in the hands of a Christian matchmaker. As she explained to me what she had to do, and all the information she had to provide, it got me thinking. Do we ever really know what we want in a partner?
Typically, you’ll hear a person say, “I want someone kind, funny, smart…yada-yada-yada.” That’s the cliché response right? But, everyone wants that. And there are plenty of people with all those lovely, yet generic qualities; but you don’t necessarily want to spend an eternity of marital bliss and horror with all those people. Plus, sometimes those qualities really turn out to be fake, jackass, and arrogant.
What really matters to you? Religion? Where a person is from? Cultural background? Ethnic background? Values? Which values matter most to you? Degree? Profession? Looks? Someone very similar to you, or quite the opposite? The politically correct answer is something like, “The only thing that matters is that we love each other, and that he/she is good to me.” The truth is, love doesn’t conquer all. As much as I love The Beatles, I’m sorry. Love is not all you need.
I randomly surveyed some of my friends, just because I was curious as to what their responses would be. I have to say, I got some very interesting responses. I could tell who really has no idea what they want, even if they think they do. I could tell knows exactly what they want, even if it seemed like they didn’t. I could tell who has been hurt deeply. I could tell who has a strong sense of self. I could tell who is a big romantic sap. And I could tell who was thinking, “why is she asking me this?”
Most of the guys tended to be blunt about the importance of physical attraction, which I greatly appreciate. If the physical attraction isn't there, then what's the difference between the love of your life and your platonic best-friend-forever. Most of them were also just very blunt about their entire response, whereas most the ladies tended to have more practical responses.
Regardless of everyone’s answers, I think it comes down to the fact that we all generally want the same things, and yet we don’t really know what that is until we have it. After all, everyone brings something different to the table, and you don't know what's on the table until you've had a taste of it. Not to mention, what tastes good to one person, may be appalling to another. It’s interesting though. If you really think about it, it forces you to think about what really matters to you, in a self-reflection sort of way. No matter how different your hobbies may be, the other person will somehow be a reflection of you.
BIG LOVE & HUGS