It seems as though people, especially women, are all over positive body image these days, which is great, because if we love ourselves then maybe we can be better at loving each other, too. However, every time I read something about women loving and owning their flaws, I get a little ping in my stomach and my face becomes distorted, not because I don’t want people to love their “flaws,” I just have an issue with calling someone’s curves “flaws.” By calling out these “flaws” I feel we’re just confirming how the part of society driven by pop culture views standards of beauty, particularly when it comes to women.
I want to love my body, too, but if I try to teach myself to love my “flaws,” I’m not sure I’m ever going to get there, because what exactly is wrong with me? By telling ourselves to learn how to love our flaws we’re telling ourselves that we are flawed, and who’s to say we are? According to some article I read, Marilyn Monroe measured 34-24-34 (bust, waist, hips), and she was and is considered a bombshell. She was a probably a US size 2 or 4. Currently, I measure to about 36-26-36 (US size 6), and I believe I’m slightly taller than Marilyn was. I don’t remember what got us on this subject, but I distinctly remember that my dad once lovingly joked, “Justine if you were around in the ‘50’s with Marilyn Monroe, you would’ve been considered a bombshell, but now you’re just considered fat.” Please be mindful that my dad was not calling me fat, he was just making a statement about today’s beauty standards, and he was right. When he said this, I was probably the exact same measurements as Marilyn was, too. I work in the entertainment industry, and even when I’ve been asked to just fill in as an extra in our films, I’ve feared it, because to Hollywood standards I’m an elephant, and we all know that the camera adds ten pounds!
A flaw might be like my left pinky, which was crushed a couple times as a kid and is still a little crooked, but is it really a flaw? What’s wrong with that? I don’t think anyone cares about my little pinky. No, a real flaw is more like when you’re racist or homophobic—then you’re flawed. Ignorance is a flaw, and choosing to be ignorant is a bigger flaw. Our flaws may be found in our character and our actions, not our physical being as we were created.
Instead of learning to love your so-called flaws, learn to just love yourself and every bit of yourself. Learning to love the things society told you are ugly and “flawed” Is not how you love yourself. There’s only ONE of you, so be kind to yourself and be good to yourself. That’s how you love yourself. If being fit makes you feel beautiful, then workout and eat well. If being smart makes you feel beautiful, then read some books and travel the world. There are always ways to “improve” yourself, but not because you’re flawed. No, because you’re BEAUTIFUL.
BIG LOVE & HUGS