A group of my friends and I went out one evening in Venice Beach recently, to celebrate one of my girlfriends' birthdays. After dinner we decided to hit up the bars, and had a fun night dancing. A few of my girlfriends with me that night are single, so my husband and I played "Wing-Team." It's always fun playing wing-woman, because there are no reservations about approaching anyone, but for the first time I had one of those moments where I thought, "I'm too old for this"--not so much the wing-womaning, but the scene. First of all, most people in the bar we ended up in looked like they were home for the holidays from uni. Secondly, it felt like for the first time I saw with my own eyes the lack of understanding and respect for boundaries and consent that some people have. Now, I'm sure it wasn't really the first time I had ever witnessed inappropriate and borderline behavior, but it was the first time I saw and comprehended certain behaviors to be inappropriate that I might not have at eighteen or twenty.
Brett Kavanaugh's Confirmation is not a Surprise but Don't Worry Gen Z will Make Sure Handmaid's Tale Doesn't Become a Reality
Brett Kavanaugh's confirmation as a Supreme Court justice is not a surprise because we as a society still have centuries of misogyny and abuse of power and control to unlearn. It's sad and disappointing that still, many people do not take sexual assault seriously, but look at who's sitting in the oval office. What concerns me more after seeing Kavanaugh's and the Republican party's response is that people still support Brett Kavanaugh is that people still support him as a Supreme Court justice after he behaved completely unprofessionally and abhorrently. If they're not concerned with having a potential sexual predator serve a lifelong appointment in the highest court of our land, if they're not concerned about his position on certain major issues, his behavior and responses should have given pause to those that support him. Even the way he responded to questions about his position on different issues outside of the sexual assault accusations were concerning, though he certainly showed his true colors when being questioned about the sexual assault claims. All we saw was an entitled, privileged white man with a tiny mouth behave like a childish, egotistical maniac. Although maybe I shouldn't be surprised by that either, since again, look at who's sitting in the oval office. There's now officially a boys' club of "Tiny Mouths with Big Entitled, Privileged Egos." Despite all this, I have hope. I have hope, because I went to speak to about sixty eleventh graders at High Tech High North County in San Marcos, California--yes, that's the actual name of the high school--and these students showed me they won't let Handmaid's Tale happen to us.
This Father's Day, I've been thinking about redefining masculinity. Well, I've been thinking a lot about this in general, but especially on Father's Day, because our fathers, those of us lucky enough to have our fathers, are usually the first masculine figures in our lives and thus the first person to teach us what "masculinity" means and looks like. Over the centuries, we've created a definition of masculinity that is at the root of inequality and it harms both men and women.
Today, I was blown away by how blown away a group of kids between the ages of four and eight were when I told them boys can do ballet, too.
Pink. Pink was everything that mattered tonight. When she accepted her Michael Jackson Vanguard Award, and told us about her six-year old daughter telling her that she is the ugliest girl she knows, because she looks like a boy with long hair I was done for the night and could turn off the TV. Nothing else mattered. First of all, every time the camera panned over to her daughter, all I thought was o my gosh how cute is she. How anyone could tell this six-year old she is ugly is incomprehensible--hearing that was like knives through my own heart. More importantly, Pink's words were so on point, and a powerful statement for her daughter to hear and to hear her mother say that in front of millions. It was a powerful statement for all kids to hear. I actually teared up a little, partly because of the cruelty that exists, and also because Pink's words just moved right through me.
Thank you, Pink. Thank you for being you. May we all open our hearts to see more beauty.
BIG LOVE & HUGS
It feels weird to say this, but I'm really proud of you. Thank for being everything everyone needs to witness right now. You inspire confidence and strength.
I just watched the first interview Amanda Bynes has done in years, and it has to be one of the most painful 5 minutes I've forced myself to sit trough. I love Amanda Bynes and will likely always root for her the way I do for Britney. "What a Girl Wants" is still one of my favorite movies, and I'm happy to hear she seems to have her life back and is planning exciting and productive projects. But seriously. This interview is everything wrong with society.
By now, many of you, particularly here in the States, have seen articles go around about Mike Pence's choice not to have dinner alone with a woman who isn't his wife, or attend events where alcohol is served without his wife. I have read opinions on both sides of the matter, and I'm not here to judge his choice. He and I don't exactly share a lot of common views to begin with. There are enough bloggers and journalists out there handling all the judging and bashing.
A young Girl Scout rung my parents' doorbell last night selling cookies and I heard my dad's voice light up when he opened the door to see who it was. And then I lit up. You see, I was a Girl Scout. So when my parents continue to buy Girl Scout cookies each year, I know it goes beyond nostalgia, beyond succumbing to gluttony over calories we most certainly do not need, and beyond sort of "returning the favor" for remembering all those who supported.
"Do you cook at home?" has become my second to least favorite question people ask me, next to "Where are you from?" Now that I'm married, often times the first thing I'm asked, particularly by women of my mother's generation, is "Do you cook at home?" Then of course, followed by "What do you cook?" It actually started when we moved in prior to marriage, but even more so now.