Prince William once said something very wise. I'm sure he has said wise things more than once, but there is one thing I heard him say that really stuck with me. He said, "We all have mental health." People oft think of therapy as a way to "fix" something, and it can be; but therapy is also like an incredible mental vitamin. If we removed the stigma from mental health, and treated it the way we do our physical, dental, and vision health, we'd all be better off. Imagine if we could have regular check-ins with our therapist. We'd all be A LOT better off.
The holidays are a joyful time, a time of love, and time we remember to cherish our loved ones near and far. For some of us, it is also a time of massive family dinners, which can be stressful. I don't know what your family is like, but as much as I love my family and our family dinners are always top notch, but they are nonetheless stressful. Sometimes it's just the pure manic of feeding 20 mouths, mom yelling, dogs running around, mom yelling some more. Sometimes some of us are having a rougher year than others and the holidays can be overwhelming or even sad. No matter what your holiday may be like this year, unless you're gallivanting off to Hawaii or having some other non-traditional and very relaxing or quiet holiday, here are a few tips to help you get through the madness of family dinners (also to be applied at Thanksgiving, Chinese New Year, big birthday celebrations, and any other large family gathering).
December is in full swing and as joyous a time it is, it can also be super chaotic. So, I'm going to give you my top tips for maintaining your sanity and holiday cheer throughout the month and therefore prevent you (hopefully) from losing your mind before we enter the new year.
I am no doubt the ultimate optimist, always looking on the bright side and finding the silver lining. I don't have time for party poopers raining on my parade--there is too much life to be lived and enjoyed. So, as I was having coffee with a friend, who had a pretty shitty 2017, I said to her a common response one might say in such situations, "Well, it can only get better from here!"
There's a notion that successful people hang out with other successful people. I believe that applies to happy people, too. Of course, that doesn't mean we can't ever be sad. It's just that sometimes in life we come across people who may be perfectly lovely people, but they leave you feeling absolutely drained after each encounter. We call these people energy vampires, because they suck the living joy out of you.
That is the question. To ensure that we're all on the same page, ghosting is when you intentionally disappear from someone's life--stop answering texts, calls, emails, and any other form of communication. This also includes blocking people on social media platforms. It's not always an easy decision to make, nor one that I ever really want to make, but sometimes you just have to. I learned that there are times, especially as a woman, you just have to look out for yourself. So when is it appropriate to ghost someone or how do you know when ghosting is the best response? I have had this discussion with several friends, male and female, and if you find yourself wondering if you should ghost someone or not, here are a few examples of when is probably an appropriate situation for ghosting. (It's important to note that I am speaking from a female perspective because I am a woman, but the reverse also applies for men in similar situations.)
I lead the Children's Liturgy at my church about once a month, and part of me was thinking of giving up because often times when there's a big group, the kids get out of hand and I struggle to get them to listen to me or not speak and scream over each other. I spend more time trying to get them to be quiet and listen to one another, teaching them about respect and how to show respect, than doing what I'm actually supposed to be doing. I don't how teachers do it. Honestly, I have so much more respect for pre-school and elementary school teachers now.
For some reason, we've developed a culture of consistently comparing girls against girls based on appearance. Just look at Fashion Police and fashion magazines with their segments on "Who wore it better?" Does Fashion Police still exist? I don't know, because I stopped watching when it simply became a façade for bullying. That's a whole different blog though.
I am not a perfectionist. Sometimes I feel like that's a bad thing to say, but there was a time I tried very hard to be, and then eventually I realized it's just not me. Back in middle school, I remember I would sometimes spend more time re-writing my notes just so they looked just perfect, than actually studying my notes. I'm not sure why it was so important to me to make sure my handwriting was just right, and my notes organized just right, but I wasted a lot of time, ink, and paper writing and re-writing for Lord knows what reason. I had a friend I often studied with, who had impeccable handwriting and she was all-around a very smart, studious, and diligent girl, so maybe I was afraid to look like a slob next to her. I don't know.
While Manchester is uniting and healing at the One Love Manchester benefit concert, it seems there's no rest for mourning these kinds of tragedies, as several incidents in London occurred--stabbings and van plowing. On top of that, bodies of children, women, and men found shot by IS as they tried to escape Mosul. This is the world we live in.